Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I walk with confidence to make a veneer to my insecurities. The truth is, I'm so lost. Who knew a visual appearance and the person within could differ so much. You see youth and strength; I see desperation and pointlessness. I'm young, I'm wild, but why am I so lonely? I've been asked so many times who I am on the inside, that I've forgotten myself. The rumors, the lies, became true. I'm wasted youth.
The short skirts, the massive eyeliner, they're screaming for someone to notice. As much as I recreate myself, I fade in with the crowd. I'm pleading for recognition of who I was. This wild youth was someone, something before this life corrupted her mind. Now she's gone; gone from her own consciousness and soul. A walking zombie.
I'm bored with this life
I'm now searching to find myself.
I need some soul to put under this fake smile
Photo cred: Knightcat
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
We act on impulse, need, and risk.
We aim for the stars as we crave adventure.
We run on Vodka and walk on Jack.
We don't give up or back down.
We lust after control.
The need to control is annihilation.
This feeling spreads from our minds to our fingers as it drives us to insanity.
The little need takes over every aspect of our life
Our relationships, our thoughts, our daily lives.
Till we are left, piloting the lives of others, yet not in control of our own
imagine from: http://lesmokingimage.blogspot.com/+ knightcat
I frequently have to remind myself who I am behind all this make up and clothes. I am left questioning my soul and having to recreate myself, in hope of any change from the person I was before. The image gets worse. The truth is- I’m my biggest enemy. I challenge my ethics and morality relentlessly, telling myself I am not good enough. The scene I have created for myself, the wildness of youth and beauty, has changed my life harmfully. People look and admire the strength and maturity, but the truth is, I am the one who needs to grow up. How long can one party until there is no meaning to life? The parties, the clubs, the social scene, is nothing without knowing who you are first. If you are lost to begin with, you lose yourself completely. This part of your life molds to you and doesn't leave you. It becomes you. Then you're left. With no meaning in life but to strut around clubs, wearing 6 inch heels, going no where in life.
Who are we and how did we get trapped here?
Monday, April 19, 2010
Failure is all you will be. Emptiness is all that surrounds you. Agony is all that you will ever feel. Routine is all that will make up your days. Worthlessness is all that will ever be able to describe you. Dreams will always remain dreams. Eventually they will fade. People will leave. Reality will stay. Change is a myth. People are fake. Happiness is impossible. Good things come with a burden of disaster. Life is a game. The ones that don't think come out alive. The ones that look back eventually die out. The fight is hard and the people are weak. The strong come out on top and the weak drift away The secret of life is to not look back. Keep your eyes closed and ignore the pain. It fades. Like character and personality. Matter is all that takes over your body. Worthlessness suffocates you... and thats it... You're here. The life of solitude. Thoughts. Loneliness. You're practically dead. Empty. Jealousy is murder. To envy is to make yourself inferior. Confidence is power. The ability to i g n o r e is strength. Without this, you're trapped. Suffocated by you're own worthlessness.
You're young and beautiful.
Nothing can phase you. You're invincible, bulletproof, untouchable.
You're u n c o n t r o l l a b l e.
You seem as if you're ahead of the game, but then... you over-think.
The ability to look at yourself from another angle, shreds you to pieces as you become your own enemy.
You look for meaning,
Anything to prove your more.
But you're not.
There are no words to describe you besides wild, impulsive.
This blog is for the young and wild
In search for something more to life
imagine from http://lesmokingimage.blogspot.com/